Self-love is a way to focus your most importantly relationship onto yourself rather than depending on another for validation.  In relationships, when we lack self-love, we can easily become codependent on our partner.  Our love may begin to suffer because insecurities will create moments of conflict, which left uncheck can result in a breakup.  Therefore, before you can love another else, you must love yourself first.

If you are currently in a relationship, what should you do?  Should you break-up in order to focus more on yourself?  Is there a benchmark for optimal self-love?  If you feel like self-love is lacking and you are in relationship already there are things you can do to help yourself without losing your lover.  Fostering self-love is a continuous process.  Even couples with healthy levels of self-love still to do work to continue to be fair to themselves and their partner.

Ways to bolster self-love when you are in a relationship

1. Maintain a sense of self: Never shape yourself into someone else to sustain romantic love.  Both partners need to honor their spirit including maintain distinct rituals, activities, passions, careers, and loved ones.  Its healthy to take time for yourself.
2. You are responsible for your joy: No one can make you happy except for yourself.  Love merely amplifies the joy you have fostered within yourself.  If you depend on them for positivity in your life you will drain the energy between you both.  You must take responsibility for your actions.  This skill is difficult something that must be cultivate throughout your life.  Look at your actions as a choice, including fostering happiness.  Create a mindfulness practice and understand that only you can change your situation.  Instead of thinking about happiness as a far-off destination think about the things in the present that make you smile.  Do small things daily that uplift you.  It can be as simple a having a cup of coffee, dancing to your favorite song, or playing with your dog.  These activities can enhance your energetic vibrations and quiet your mind.  They even help you process your baggage since healing hurts is an ongoing process.
3. See you like your partner sees you: Insecurity can cause us to dismiss our gifts.  Ask your partner about their favorite traits about you.  This could make for a great date night activate that help you rekindle your love.  Making a habit of sharing ten of your favorite attributes can help you both internalize these blessings and you can begin to actually believe them.  In relationships, you are always discovering new aspects about your partner and yourself.
4. Be okay with others sharing your quirks: The people that love you most will call you out when you need to be held accountable.  Not everything is flaw though.  Consider how negative traits can be turned into positives or opportunities for self-growth.  Throughout your life you will be working on self-improvement, but that doesn’t make you a bad or unlovable person.  You are worthy of living up to your full potential.
5. Accept that you make mistakes: Don’t hold a grudge with yourself or anyone else.  Grudges are a cancer to self-love.  We all make mistakes, but we need to learn and move on from them instead of beating ourselves up.
6. Love is an action, not an emotion: Love is a choice we make daily, not a passing fancy.  This is also true of the love we nurture within ourselves.  If you opt to be more loving to yourself, you will better understand your needs, dreams and motivations.  Set aside some time each day to reconnect with yourself.  This can involve going to the gym, reading, enjoying a nice meal, meditation, talking a walk or doing yoga.  Small moments with yourself can create impressive change, but only if you make it a habit.

Self-love is vital to sustain a happy, healthy and successful relationship with both your partner and yourself.  By become secure, confident and accepting of yourself you will be cultivating positive energy within and around you.  This will naturally result in a romantic love that is strong, healthy, and fulfilling.