Having a Good Divorce

Having a Good Divorce

Over half of first marriages end in divorce.  If divorce is the only option, how do you part with out destroying each other?  It may sound impossible, but if you have kids, you may just have to try to avoid any future hardship and further heartbreak.

Some celebrity couples have called this “consciously uncoupling.”  They divorce but stay civil and in close contact in order to reduce the stress on their families  Experts agree that this takes a great deal of work and strength of character to make happen.

Divorce as concept just naturally makes us flinch, so why would you be willing to go through it as conflict free as possible? Remember at one point in your life you wanted spend the rest of your life with this person. Take a look at that feeling and you may be able to find a compromise to get through this transition.  One way to accomplish this is to get a post-nuptial agreement. This is drawn up after a marriage that is an agreement of how to proceed should divorce occur. It can save a lot of time when it comes to dividing assets and providing for the children’s education and may help avoid any future hostility.

Some lawyers are even offering to draw up a post nuptial agreement as a means of getting their clients to look at alternatives to divorce. This can help get a couple through some trust issues that may have led them to considering divorce.

Others are relying on mediation.

Mediation is a processing step that helps a couple look at the marriage before bringing in legal counsel.  This helps you come to an agreement before litigation. Remember, however, mediation only works if both partners agree.

Money can play a big part in determining the mood of a divorce. When assets are being dissolved hostility can rear its ugly head. To prevent this, go in knowing what needs to be covered, such as mortage, insurance and school fees. Come to an agreement ahead of time.  When it comes to this, be open and honest. Don’t hide assets. The courts will find them and it will cost you in the long run.

Try to keep the children out of it by putting more love into your children than hate into your ex. Simply put, show your children that your love for them won’t ever change, even if your love for each other has.

If at all possible, make arrangements for the children. Even an informal written agreement can head off any future problems.

Don’t ever let your children become pawns in a divorce battle. And just as you wouldn’t drag a child into a situation that they aren’t ready for, such as their first hockey game when they can’t sit up by themselves., don’t rush into a family holiday immediately  after the divorce. It may confuse your child and might delay your family’s acceptance of the situation.

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